Dreams

Three mornings ago I had a dream, the last one before I woke up.  I dreamt that my dad surprised me by finding the camper we had used when I was a child,only it had been rebuilt, and gave it to my husband and I as a gift. I was delighted in my dream to see a place where I spent so much time as a child and the "changes" in it.  In my dream we were on the camping trip that we are (in real life) going on next week. We go every summer, but my dad is joining us for the first time this year.

As he was showing us the changes, I turned around to look and.....there was my Mom.  She was as I remember her from my childhood, clear as day. She was just as excited as I was, laughing,  and wanted to talk with me.  I started to talk to her in my dream, but everyone looked at me strangely-I didn't realize only I could see her.  I wanted to talk with her more-she was so happy and energetic. When I realized no one else could see her, it made me cry-not the dream me, but the real me.  I think that's when I woke up, because in my dream I had intended to come back and talk to her more, when no one else was around, but I woke up instead.

Since then, I've felt sort of like I've lost her all over again.  Then, the day after the dream, both Isaac and Lydia asked when we'd see Grammy again, they missed her.  Usually I can field questions like that without losing my composure, but not so much that day.  I held it together long enough to talk with them, but that was about it for me.  It was so unsettling to have them ask questions about her when they haven't said much about her for a while, especially when I'd just dreamed about her, which was odd for me all by itself.  It's taken a few days for the sadness to wear off.

I've heard of other people dreaming about loved ones who've died. I've never been one to dream about people I know, though.  I rarely see actual faces in my dreams, and even more rarely are they people from my life. The other crazy part was that it was so clear and real.  Despite the renewed sorrow the dream brought, it was really cool to see my mom at her best: her most energetic and full of life.  I think that must be how she is in heaven.

Me and Mom at my Confirmation in 8th grade. This is the age she was in my dream (I could tell from the hair style! haha)

NOTE: I asked Isaac and Lydia if they've dreamt of Grammie.  Isaac nodded, and when I asked him what she was doing in the dream, he said she was dancing with him.  Yeah, my mom would have done that.