To Isaac on Your First Birthday.

Dear Bugaboo,

The last year has been the most challenging and amazing year of my life. Who would have thought that one little person could change our lives so much? My first memory of you is when I said, "Who has an eleven pound baby? I have an eleven pound baby?" and "Are they always so blue?" Not very romantic thoughts considering the romance you have me under.

I remember you as a tiny (a relative term) little thing in the hospital, unable to hold your head up, but still looking as if you knew something Everyone said it, "It looks like he knows something." And how you just looked around like you were just taking it all in. And how at three weeks old, you were too big for the bassinet! It seems so long ago, and yet like yesterday, all at the same time.

Since then we have been through many ups and downs. Your (and my) first plane ride, first teeth, a midnight trip to the emergency room for the ear infection from hell (one of only two times you cried unconsolably in the entire year), the stomach flu all three of us got, sitting up by yourself, unexpected growth spurts that had you waking at 3 am for a week straight, rolling all over creation and finally crawling, and now walking along tables and whatever else you can pull yourself up on.

Everyone said your growth would slow down, but it hasn't really. You are still much bigger than the average one-year-old. Closer to the size of a two-year-old, actually. And I never tire of hearing people exclaim over your size. Somehow, I'm quite proud of it.

You're a pretty laid-back boy, but you have your cranky days (like today!) but they seem to be few and far between. And even though you are laid-back, you definitely have a will of your own, to the point of laughing mischeviously even after I've smacked your hand for getting into something you know you shouldn't. Even though it will drive me crazy in the years to come, I'm glad you've got it in you, that little bit of mischief.

Auntie Dala told me when I was pregnant with you, "I know you love this baby now, but nothing will prepare you for how much you'll love him after he's born." She couldn't have spoken truer words. A year ago today, I was astounded by the love that overwhelmed me. I still am.