Friday, March 23, 2012

How Embarrassing....

A couple weeks ago, I started a post, and came back to it a couple times, but hadn't meant to actually post it yet, because well it wasn't finished. And there were still mistakes and typos in it. And I was going to come back and polish it up...


This is what I posted:
The last few days I've been feeling a little down. There are many contributing factors, and I think I've identified the reasons, but that's not really my reason for writing.  Usually, I'd mope. Frankly, I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately. I"m tired of it. So, instead of moping because things are not as I wanted them (every do that?), I've decided to follow my own motto, "If you can't change something, change the way you think about it." All this morning I've been brainstorming ideas of how to redirect my thinking. Things I can do RIGHT NOW, TODAY.

1) Read my Bible. The living word of God, not static. Like fresh fruits and vegetables, with living enzymes, keep your physical help up, so the Word is spiritually. I need to quit forgetting about that.

2) Accomplish a goal. This ALWAYS boosts my spirit. My goal today~get the kitchen monster in hand. I don't know about anyone else, but our kitchen area is constant battle, and unless we are constantly vigilant, it wins. ;) Today I will fight the beast, and win.

3) Be creative, as in create something. I have several ideas. Might be food, might be thought. Haven't decided yet.

4) Exercise. I thought about going to the Y, but here is a home program I found on Pinterest I think I'll try today. It will save time.

You know, funny thing, just composing this list has helped.

Well, you know, just writing down the plan did help, that is true. But I wasn't really prepared for what a huge difference doing all these things in one day makes on my perspective.  And on the days since I wrote this, I've really paid attention to my mood and attitude if I don't accomplish one (or any) of these things. I feel really crummy inside.

It hasn't helped that I was very ill last weekend and in bed for a good two-three days, or that the antibiotic completely messed up my sleep, or that I've been feeling particularly anxious at night, because I discovered that I'm really associating this beautiful spring weather with the last couple years when the beautiful spring weather has hit and something really awful happened to us (2010: I severely broke my foot and then my mom passed away within two days of each other; 2011: we were robbed in the middle of the night while we were asleep upstairs and the cops accused us and did nothing, also when my first SLR got stolen).

Sooooooo....I'm off to improve my attitude, and Tylenol PM has been helping with my night anxiety.

And something else that makes me happy: I FINALLY was able to order a replacement power cord for my external hard-drive, so I'll be able to upload and edit pictures again soon! Yeah!