Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Bathtime Conversations

.
First, a little back story: A few days ago I was changing Simon's diaper, and Isaac was watching. He noticed that Simon had "stuff" like his, and asked what it was.
"That's Simon's penis, he has one just like you do, Isaac, because you are boys."
Nothing more was said.
Last night was the typical bath night. Isaac was already in the tub and naked Lydia comes toddling in.
"Where's the peanut?" Isaac says as he points at Lydia's stuff.
"Where's the what?" I asked.
"The peanut."
"Do you mean a penis?" I asked.
"Where's her peanut?" He persisted.
"What is a peanut, Isaac?"
He then proceeded to point to his peanut.
"No, that's not called a peanut, it's called a penis. And Lydia doesn't have a penis, she's a girl."
"Lydia doesn't have a pee....nus?"
"No, she's a girl," I explain as he looks at her like well what does she have? "Girls have a vagina." I say, forcing the hated word out of my mouth because I know it's the right thing to do. (We prefer "hoo-hoo".)
Again, nothing more is said, until he starts looking under my legs as I sit next to the tub. "Where is it? Is it in there?" He says as he looks.
"No Isaac, I dont' have a penis either, I'm a girl, like Lydia. Only boys have penises."
"Isaac and Simon have a penis. And Daddy has a penis." Isaac says to himself as a matter of clarification.
"Yes, you all have penises because you are all boys. Girls don't have penises and Lydia and Momma are girls." By this time, the conversation was beginning to embarrass even me. Little did I know.
"Oh, it's okay, Momma. Maybe we can grow you a nice, BIG, penis."
"Really, Isaac, I'm REALLY okay with not having one."
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6 comments:

Annie C. said...

Beautiful. :) You are such a great writer...

A

WILLIAM said...

Just want kind of "seed" would need to be planted to grow a penis? Maybe a Nut?

Redhead Mommy said...

I wondered quite the same thing! And then imagined several other lewd remarks my husband might make to the statement!

MaryP said...

I once had a conversation with my much-younger cousin, in which he tried to assure me that one day I, too, would have "a hairy penis like daddy." When I noted that his mother didn't have a penis, he corrected me. She did, too: it was hiding in the hair.

His mother just about killed herself laughing when I told her.

(I don't use "vagina" the first conversation or two, but choose 'labia' or 'vulva', because those are the bits you can see. Later I might explain about the inside part.)

And sometimes, just to counter the idea that girls are somehow lacking, I'll tell the boys, "Boys have a penis and testicles. Girls have labia and a vagina. You don't have a vagina, because you are a boy."

Undercover Mutha said...

Oh my. That's one for the baby book. Hee hee.

sometrouble said...

Too funny! You could have a "penis patch" in the garden. I love kids' logic and the way their trains of thought work! Can't wait to have kids of my own.